Agile Principles in Parenting

Agile Principles in Parenting


3 min read

Welcome back, fellow adventurer! Now that we've laid out the landscape of gaming and parenting, let's dive into our toolkit for this journey. We are turning to the world of software development to borrow the Agile methodology and adapt it for our purposes. Agile, a term you might be familiar with if you've dipped your toes into tech or project management waters, has principles that surprisingly translate well into the parenting realm.

Before we delve deeper, let's understand "Agile" at its core. Born out of a need for flexible and efficient software development, Agile is a process that encourages continuous iteration, collaboration, and adaptability (1). It's not a rigid set of rules but rather a mindset that values responsiveness over planning and individual interactions over processes. Sounds like parenting to me, right?

Let's explore how each of the four key values in the Agile Manifesto (2) can be applied to parenting:

1. Individuals and interactions over processes and tools: The essence of Agile lies in valuing human interactions. In parenting, this means prioritizing your relationship with your child over any prescribed parenting method or tool. A dialogue with your child about their gaming habits is much more valuable than enforcing screen-time limitations without discussion. This approach fosters an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.

2. Working software over comprehensive documentation: In Agile development, having a functional product is more important than having detailed plans. Applied to parenting, this encourages a focus on what works for your family rather than adhering to parenting books or societal expectations. For instance, if co-playing video games after homework work is a stress buster and bonding activity for your family, embrace it!

3. Customer collaboration over contract negotiation: Agile encourages continuous collaboration with the customer to deliver a product that meets their needs. In parenting, the "customer" is your child. Collaborating with them means actively involving them in decision-making processes, such as setting screen time rules or choosing games to play together. This practice empowers children and fosters a sense of responsibility and ownership.

4. Responding to change over following a plan: Agile recognizes that needs can change over time and values flexibility to accommodate these changes. As parents, we too need to adapt to the changing interests, challenges, and growth stages of our children. This could mean evolving gaming practices as your child grows or adjusting parenting strategies based on your child's feedback.

In addition to these values, the twelve principles in the Agile Manifesto can provide further guidance. While we won't delve into each one here, they all boil down to this: adaptability, continuous improvement, collaboration, and delivering value.

Sounds like a recipe for successful parenting, doesn't it? Embracing Agile parenting doesn't mean throwing out traditional parenting wisdom. Instead, it's about incorporating a new mindset that values flexibility, communication, and collaboration. It's about recognizing that parenting, like software development, isn't a one-size-fits-all endeavour. It's a journey that requires continuous learning, adaptation, and growth.

But, how do we translate these Agile principles into day-to-day parenting actions, especially for gamer parents? Well, that's the quest we'll embark on in the following chapters, armed with our Agile mindset and a shared love for gaming. So, grab your controller, fellow gamer because our adventure into Agile parenting is just getting started!


  1. Cohen, D., Lindvall, M., & Costa, P. (2004). An introduction to agile methods. Advances in Computers, 62, 1-66.

  2. Beck, K., Beedle, M., Van Bennekum, A., Cockburn, A., Cunningham, W., Fowler, M., ... & Kern, J. (2001). Manifesto for agile software development.

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